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Joseph Joestar vs. Big Boss
Joseph Joestar vs. Big Boss is a What-If? Episode of Death Battle. Description Hamon vs. CQC, It's a Clash Between these Two Trained In Special Arts, Will the 2nd Joestar take Down the Second Boss? Interlude The Mentor is a Form of Conduct that Helps the Peers in Terms of Social, Helpful or Even Combating Ways. But, Sometimes this Training Causes them an Arm and A Leg... Or Even an Eye, Like Joseph Joestar, the Second Jojo with a Battle Tendency. -And Big-Boss, The First Snake and Second Boss Patriot. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick-''' -And It's our Job to analyze their Weapons, Armour and Skills to Find out who Would Win, A Death Battle. Joseph Joestar Years Later After the Late Jonathan Joestar's Imminent Demise- '''We All know that Guy's Sleeping with the Fishes, Anyways Soon After a Child Was Born to Be The Next Jojo that was Born in 1920 even though He Didn't Even Know it, This boy was Known as.. Joseph Joestar: Joestar.. Joseph Joestar. Joseph like Most of His Generation has A Pretty Terrible Backstory You Ready? -Deep Inhale- Speedwagon was Nearly Killed by Straizo now a Vampire Who Went Out to Kill Joseph, But then Joseph defeated Straizo who Told him that The Pillar Men. Were About to Rise and Take over the World. And then Joseph Managed to Defeat One of them, Then Met up with the Rest, Met an Italian Guy then Some Hot MILF that Trained them In Hamon a Way of Breathing that Gives you Magic Powers and Defeated some other Pillar men and Then Became a Soon Father and Grandfather soon Afterwards... Did we Get All that? Well Caesar Did Di- Rhetorical Question, Anyways Joseph like His Late Grandfather who He didn't Know Died (Uh, Spoiler), Uses a Unique Technique Called: Hamon or Sendo a Breathing Technique originally Created by Hermit's that Uses the Power of the Sun to your Disposal, With this he Can Create Techniques like the Over-Drive and Sendo Kick. Joseph Can Also Use the Shoulder Buff where He Generates Hamon into his Elbows and Strikes at Incredible Force and Even Perform the Zoom-Punch, A Move Used by Grandpa and Will A. Zeppeli where the User Dislocates their Arm using Hamon to boost their Range for a Powerful Blow This Guy Would make a Killer Sandwich.. But, Joseph doesn't Solely Rely on the Hamon, Joseph also has a Twin Pair of Clackers.. Where He Keeps them Is Unknown, But Joseph is Unnaturally Skilled In them Able to Channel Hamon through them and Perform the Clacker Volley and The Clacker Boomerang.. Yes he can Make a Boomerang with his Clackers... Joseph Also Comes Equipped with a FUCKING TOMMY GUN which (Surprise, Surprise) and He Can Fire Hamon Bullets from It Just as Well.. Oh and He Can Read your Mind! Technically, he Analyses his Opponents Moves and Over-all Personality to Act if He Can Read Another Persons Mind, Such as this Hey, Boomstick the Next thing You're going to Say Is: "Say what you aant Wiz, He's a Mind-Reader!" Say what you Want Wiz, He's a Mind-Reader... Wait wha-''' Joseph Is a Smart-Opponent and Has Done some Incredible Feats for His Age, He's Taken on The Likes of Santana a Being Who could Learn the Flow of Human Technology in Under a Couple of Minutes even Human Language, Outsmarted Esidisi, Defeated Wamuu at his Own Game, infiltrated a Nazi base on his own, was so precise he smashed a Cola cap onto a Cops finger and Took on Kars even in his Final Form. '''Joseph is Also the First Jojo to Survive a Plane Crash Four times OH and Joseph also Reacted to Light Tell them Wiz! Seeing this We've Recorded that Joseph's Size of his Body and Head from the Length of the Beam we've Calculated that Joseph have Had Dodged at Least 2.324c That's around FTL Reactions to Put that into Perspective. Joseph may be an Expert In Combat knowing to outsmart his foes, But He Sometimes fucks up on his Batte Tendency, He always comes back for round two seeing as he's overpowered by the Likes of Esidisi and Wamuu, Wins stuff by sheer dumb-luck or Deus Ex Machina and Sometimes is never one for safety which kinda.. Resulted to him Getting his Arm Cut off by an Immortal God... ..Not his Best Day, Still If all Get's out of Hand Joseph can Use One Last Trick Up His Sleeve. This Secret Joestar Family Technique is... The Art of Running away, So this Guy Isn't all there, But Hey Joseph has Proven time and time again that He comes on top on this Bizarre of Adventures and May be the Best Jojo and-''' Both:' That '''About' Sums It '''up.' '..I hate you.' ''Joseph Joestar: Next you're Gonna Say... WRYYYYYYYYY-! To Yu! ''Dio Brando'': WRYYYYYYYYY-! -Surprised-'' Big Boss His Name Was Only.. John. '''Originally Known as Jack through his Early Years, John Illegally Participated in the Korean War at Age 15, After that He Joined a Special Force Known as the Green Berets and Was Mentored by one of the most bad-ass sounding names ever; Codname: The Boss.' Soon After Snake Began his first real mission when he was saving a Russian Rocket Scientist he was betrayed by Boss and teamed up with- Some Crazy Russian Sadist with 10-Million Volts of Electricity Stored inside of him to Use some doomsday device to cause World War III and it was Called... The Shagahod, So After some Cobra Unit Killing and Dressing up as a Gay Love Interest, Jack finally killed his Mentor. But, through the Work of the Patriots (Surprise, Surprise) The Boss didn't Defect, but was Really still part of the Good Side, the US Government killed the Boss to get some Extra Money and She Was a Patriot to the End. I guess that marks off poor old Jack on Santa Claus Nice List.. He Believes in Santa, Don't ask, From that Day Forward he Took the Boss's Name and Sculpted it into the name that would last a Life-time.. Codename: Big Boss. Big Boss although a Expert In any Gun He Finds usually Keeps his Load Light when Coming into Battle, His Main Weapon of Choice being the M1-911 one of the Most efficient of Hand-Guns used for Quick and Quiet Fatalitieso, His Knife or CQC Knife, The Patriot, A Sniper Rifle for Silent Kills. Big Octo-Dad Boss also Carries Multiple Types of Grenades to Smoke or Chaff, Not to Mention some C3 to Blow some Serious Shit Up, With this He Mixes this with a Brutal Mix of Gun and Knife Play stirred in with some Martial Arts known as CQC perfect for when guns aren't around. Snak- I mean Big Boss also Uses a Codec System like his Many Other Son/Clones where He Can Call Anywhere at Anytime and Like their Newer Counterparts the Codec's are 100% Silent Capable for not Giving himself Away. That Would help for that Booty Call when Your Parents aren't Home.. Not that I would Know Of. Big Boss: In Close Range Combat, a Knife can be Sometimes be more Useful than a Gun. Big Boss is Tough as they come, He's Stopped plans for World War III on Multiple Occasion, He's Defeated the Likes of the Pain someone who's Capable of Communicating to Bee's, Killed the Fear, Outruns Guard dogs, Sneak Past Peak Soldiers, Mentored his Own Sons and Destroyed Multiple Metal-Gear Prototypes with nothing, But Grenades and Rocket Launchers. He's also Fought Snake and was Burned alive (History's Greatest Soldier), Defeated Ocelot and also Killed The End, You know the Guy who Invented Sniping and Has Lived since the 1860's, Oh and He was Tied up Zapped with 10-Million Volts of Electricity surging through his Body and Had His Eye shot out.. Did he Say anything? Hell No! Well Big-Boss isn't Perfect, Unlike his Sons age has Slowed him Down, He's Been Foiled by the Government Multiple Times and even fell for a Chinese Spy. Heck the Guy was Injected with Nanomachines to Help Him Heal Wounds, But It Kinda Aided in his Own Death.. But hey He Lit that Cigar to the End, Anytime you need an Impossible Mission being Completed, Big-Boss is there to make that Situation Possible! Even If he Follows from you know.. a Smoking Addiction. Big Boss: ..Kept you Waiting Huh? Prelude Alright, the Combatants are set Let's end this Debate Once and for All... It's time for a Death Battle! JoJo Big Boss Set.PNG|GameboyAdv CAS_BigBoss_JosephJoestar.png|ArachnoGia Death Battle! ---- Warning! 'If you Don't Get the Jokes in this Fight Please Watch This! ---- *Pre-Fight* ''Abandoned Factory, Berlin Germany ---- Meanwhile on a Plane.. "We've Had Rumors of a Rebel Force stealing Our Mission, We Fear It may be the Patriots Work, Snake Get In there!" The Major Said through his Codec. "Okay!" a Figure Replied in a Camo-Suit jumping out of a Plane and Started Parachuting down onto the Ground of the Grassy Deserted Land. The Figure Rolled onto the Ground detaching his Parachute and Got Up, This Figure Wore Said Camo and Had a Eye-Patch on him from a Tragic Past, With this He Lit a Cigar with his Flip-Lighter and Took a Blow before throwing the Cigar onto the Floor; This was the legendary soldier of history, '''Big Boss, But Please Call him Snake. Big Boss got his Pistol out and Started walking to the Factory door"Time to-" Before Big Boss could say anything his Codec began to ring "Hold on let me get this.." As Boss answered it, It was His Codec Weapons Expert Sigint "Snake, I hope you got your Right Weapons for the Job, I heard this guy's a tough one" Snake Replied "Yeah, I think I heard.." Sigint Finally Replied with "Okay then, Good Luck on the Mission and Hope you Don't Come back with an Eye that matches your Left.", "I don't Plan to" Snake said as the Codec Ended and with that Big Boss entered the Building. ---- Inside the Building.. Inside another Man was at the Building he Wore an Odd Array of Clothing that would Most Likely Fit in the 30's (Surprise, Surprise) and Looked around in a Dull-Looking Face with his Blue eyes, Scratching his Head with his Prosthetic Hand; This was the Second Jojo and Trained in Hamon, Joseph Josestar. "Man it's boring around here... most of the guards around gave no sense of fight.." Joseph replied crossing his arms around his head and Started walking to another area of the factory. "I wonder where Lisa Lisa and Caesar are? They said they were going to be here an Hour ago.. Guess they ditched me." Joseph went on before stopping.. He Heard Foot-Steps. Joseph stopped for a Second and Thought about this "This one Sounds Different.. I'll possibly Have to Keep my Cool here..." He Said as He Quietly started to Walk towards the next Room. as He Was doing that, Big Boss was Also Making his way to the Room Joseph was about to leave. "Snake, We've Picked up Visuals he's Inside that Room and Remember the Basics of CQC." Major replied, "Piece of Cake..." Snake Finally Replied whilst Sneaking his way to the room.. His Pistol in his Hand. The Battle of who's Generation would Go On Began. *Fight!* Snake Pointed his Gun at Joseph the two Looked Motionless before the Famous [! Sign] Popped up and Big Boss retreated Behind the wall, Joseph was the First to React and Run into the Room. Snake looked as Joseph and the Two Locked for Combat, Joseph punched Snake, But Snake Used his Arms to block his Strikes. Joseph Then Roundhouse Kicked Snake back and With that (Surprise, Surprise) Snake did a Back-Flip twice and Shot his Pistol at Joseph, Luckily Joseph dodged most of his Bullets barely getting Grazes on him. Big Boss ran towards snake and Performed CQC on Joseph Jumping up and Kicking Joseph in the Face. Joseph was Stunned for a Second and Recovered now this Time he lost it "Take this Scum!" Joseph yelled as He Inhaled Deep with seeming Yellow Electricity Flowing through his Body "Hamonn-" Joseph said as Snake Readied another Assault "-Overdrive!" as Joseph Punched Boss with a Force of a Super-Human sending him Crashing into some other Part of the Factory. Joseph Got up and Looked around the Area Snake landed and Saw a Cardboard box, Joseph Saw what Exactly what was Going on then Charging up his Hamon he Yelled "Hamon Beat!" he Yelled as He Chopped the Cardboard Box in Half Revealing.. Nothing. Joseph now Off Guard didn't Realize that Snake was Behind Him with a Knife in his hand, with that Snake Lunged onto Joseph and Wrapped his Elbow across his Neck. "OH-NO, Shit this Guy's Crafty!" Joseph Shouted Elbowing Boss off Finally Boss Slashed at Joseph's Back before Getting Off, Joseph Turned around Charged at Boss the Two Clashed in Hand to Hand combat. Joseph Kicked, Boss Dodged and Used his Knife to Slash at Joseph, Joseph reluctantly dodged and Performed an Overdrive on Snake, Snake Took the hit. But soon afterwards grabbed Joseph's arm and Threw him over his Shoulder into a couple of pipes. "Alright then..." Joseph Explained, "This Means War!" As he Posed and Got out his Tommy Gun "..." Snake went Silent for a Second Before going into Codec. "This Guy Stopped an Immortal God?!" Snake Said "Oh, Stop Whining." Major went as the Codec abruptly ended and the Fight Resumed, Joseph Shot from His Tommy gun. But Snake Dodged most of What The Tommy Gun Fired and Even Flipped away from most of the bullets and Got out his Pistol of Which he Fired at Joseph, Joseph dodged and Slif on the Floor at Big Boss and Grabbed his Leg whilst in the Air and Smashed Boss's head onto the floor. "Gah!" Boss Cried in Pain before Getting Back up and Charging at Joseph, "Check out My Next Trick.. Hey Mr. Eyepatch the Next thing you're going to say Is: "Dammit I'll have to change my Strategy to take on this guy" To-Yu!" as Joseph pointed at the still Charging Snake "Dammit I'll have have to change my Strategy to take on this guy... Wait wha-" Before he could React Joseph Jabbed Snake with his Tommy gun Flipped him into the Air and Shot the Last of the Bullets from the gun. "Gah, How Is that Even Possible?!" Boss Yelled as Joseph Finally Used His Hamon to Kick Big Boss into a Wall which Broke upon Impact, Into another room. "Heh! Can you Still Get up After that?!" Joseph Poked fun at Boss supposedly defeated body before He Could Know It.. "In Fact I can.." Someone Replied under the Rubble before Jumping into the Air and Kicking Joseph Back "N-Nani?!" Joseph again was Put off as Boss Got back down and Picked up Joseph's Used Tommy Gun. "Sometimes Kid, a Empty Gun is more Useful than a Loaded one!" As He Readied it, "Heheh, Believe me I'm Just Getting Started Old Timer!" Joseph Said Flustered as He Got out His Clackers and Posed, "..Why Do I keep doing this?" Big Boss said as he Clashed the Tommy Gun with Josephs Clackers, "Clacker Volley" Joseph Yelled as he Spun them and Smashed them on the Gun causing it to Break. Big Boss Spun Back and Got out His Patriot and Joseph Readied his Clackers once More and They Locked for Battle once More "You Can Do this Snake Damn!" Yelled Sigint. Snake charged and Fired his Patriot, But Joseph Blocked with His Clackers and Jumped into the Air and Ended it with a Kick on the Noggin and Punched Boss back. But Boss regained his Balance Easily and Tripped up Joseph and Upper-Cut him, Joseph fell onto the floor blood spewing from his mouth. Snake got back onto his Feet and Readied his Gun and Fists once more, Joseph regained balance and Wiped the Blood from his Mouth and Picked up His Clackers this Time looking more Determined. "I must Say you're one that won't give up.." Joseph Chuckled before getting back up "Can't Hide it you're a Good fighter too", "But, Unfortunately You've fallen into my Trap!" Joseph Said Before Snake saw that one of Joseph's Clackers had Disappeared "Clacker Boomerang!" Joseph Yelled as the Clackers hit Boss from Behind sending him onto the floor, but Joseph kneed Kneed boss in the Face before Smashing him away with his Two Clackers. Snake was Sent Flying and Smashed through a Pipe, Before Getting back To His Feet, "Gah" Snake went as Arm was Bleeding From the Impact, This time Things got Serious. Snake Lunged towards Joseph, But as Joseph was About to Smash him with his Clackers, Big Boss got out his Knife and Slashed Joseph in the Chest before shooting him in the knee with his Patriot and Finally Jumped Back. "Dammit" Joseph Went as Big Boss Supposedly Vanished into the Dark Corners of the Factory, With that He Looked around and Picked up His Clackers. With that Boss jumped out of the Shadows and Stabbed Joseph in the Knee "Gah, HOLY SHIT!" Joseph flinched in pain as He Used his Clackers on Boss who Vanished. Joseph now Angry Looked around "Now You've Got me Fighting Mad!" Joseph Went as He Looked around Until He Didn't Notice a Familiar Figure Hiding in the Shadow's until It Was Too Late. Big Boss jumped at Joseph and grabbed him Across the Waist with that Picking him up and Smashing his Head onto the Ground, Causing Joseph to lose His Clackers. "Nani!" Joseph Replied Before Getting Back up Readying his Fists Once more for Combat, With that Big Boss Prepared his Hunters Knife and the Final Clash Began... Joseph and Boss Ran At Each-other Performing Hand-to-Hand combat, But Big Boss got more of an Advantage and Overpowered Joseph, Joseph once again Took a Deep breath and Used His Hamon Overdrive Knocking Boss Back. But Boss Jumped up And Grabbed Joseph By the Head and his Whole Body raised into the Air with that- "CQ-" As Snake Went as He Landed onto the Ground, Joseph's Head still in his Hands.. "-C!" as Big Boss Down-right Snapped Joseph's Neck and Watched as Joseph Fell to his Knees "S-sh-Shizaa-" Joseph went as His Bulk fell down to the ground with a Hint of Blood Following, Snake then Stood up and Lit a Cigar blowing out the smoke "Just another Day of Big Boss.." He Replied. *K.O!* Big Boss, Victorious Used C3 on the Entire Factory and Then It Explodes, But He Couldn't help but Feel sorry for this Fighter, With that he Gave a Salute before walking away as the Factory blew up... Like a Badass. Joseph's Scarf slowly Falls down whilst Big-Boss Is Walking by.. Results Welp, He'll be Posing with his None-Existent Generation.. I think We've Created a Time-Paradox. Joseph being a Beast In Combat was Ultimately Outmatched by Big-Boss sheer Determination, Gunplay and Experience and While Joseph has Taken on Immortal Vampires and Hamon-Users, Snake's taken on Giant Metal Gear Prototypes, the Cobra Unit, 10-Million Volts and So Forth, Putting Joseph's Fight-Record pretty One-Sided. Normally Joseph has no problem coming up with a Strategy, But sometimes when People similar to his Intellect outsmart him He's Been known to Act Child-Like and Immature when It comes to his Fighting Style making him more Predictable. Big Boss is More of a Serious Fighter always using Whatever he Can as an Advantage, While Joseph more or Less Makes up a Strategy hoping for it to work, that is Dangerous However considering the Fact It nearly get's Joseph Up-right killed. Plus.. he's Named the Legendary Warrior for a Reason, I guess Big Boss didn't Just Break a Leg that Day.. He Broke a Neck alongside. The Winner is Big Boss!Category:ArachnoGia Category:What-If? 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